Laser Tag
by PikaChica
Summary: Beckett, Myles, and Holly decide to play laser tag, dragging Artemis along. However, the fun evening soon takes a rather unfortunate turn. Rated T just to be safe. Chapter Five: Artemis gives Holly a piggyback ride. Slight ArtemisxHolly. Please read and review! Thank you for all the support!
1. Rubber Frogs and Pixie Stix

**A/N: Hi! This was just a plot I cooked up while day dreaming . In case you've never heard of laser tag, I'll give a brief explanation. You go to a laser tag arena, where you and other people play together. The group is split into teams; each team getting a different color vest and gun. You take the gun (not a real one, it has a laser in it) and shoot people on the opposing team's vests with the laser. If it hits them, they are out for about ten seconds. The team to shoot the most people and avoid getting hit wins. The game is played in a dark arena, usually with lots of towers and hiding places.**

**Sorry! The computer ate my paragraph indents when I uploaded this story! This is the second time it's done that, and It's really started to annoy me. Sorry for any reading difficulites.**

**Disclaimer: I don't own Arty (sniff) nor Pixie Stix. Though that would be really cool. **

**I'd never run out of sugar again. Oh, and I don't own Pepsi either.**

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><p>Currently, Artemis Fowl was sitting at a grimy little table, eating a slightly soggy piece of pizza, while watching hyperactive children fight over rubber frogs and Pixie Stix.<p>

He was not having a good time.

Captain Holly Short was seated next to him, struggling to sever a long strand of cheese from her own slice. Artemis daintily dabbed the grease off of his pizza, glowering at the elf.

"Arfamish, oo _know_ da boysh wanted oo go!" Holly mumbled, her words garbled because of her mouthful of food.

"I know Holly," Artemis sighed, wiping bits of mozzarella off his face, "But _laser tag_? Honestly. I thought Myles and Beckett had more taste than that. There was going to be a wonderful performance at the opera today…"

Holly threw her napkin at him.

"_Opera_? What six-year-old boy wants to go to the _opera_?"

Just then, Myles and Beckett came charging over to the table, each holding an armload of orange tickets.

"Artemis! I rewired one of the arcade machines to spit out all of its tickets no matter what score you got!" Myles declared proudly.

"Tickets! Tickets! We got lotsa tickets!" Beckett bellowed.

Immediately, Artemis regretted giving Myles a screwdriver/pliers/wrench gadget for his birthday.

"Wow, Myles! Good job! That _is_ a lot of tickets, Beckett!"

Plastered on Beckett's face was a dopey grin. He had fallen quite in love with the elfin captain. Holly was aware of this, thinking it to be the most adorable thing ever.

"You can have them." Beckett bashfully held the stolen tickets out to the object of his affection.

"Thank you Beckett! How sweet!"

Unsure of what to do with the bundle of orange, Holly took it and dumped the whole thing on Artemis' lap. For a moment, Beckett looked crestfallen, but then Holly scooped him up onto her lap and tickled his sides.

"Tickle tickle tickle!" Holly giggled, "I'm gonna getcha! I'm gonna getcha!"

Artemis rolled his eyes, wondering how little children could make fools out of some of the most respected people. Holly was putty in Beckett's hands; she would always act like a buffoon to make him laugh.

_Well, _Artemis thought, _Holly _does _have a nice smile._

Myles stood next to Artemis, looking a little put out. Long ribbons of tickets pooled around his ankles, making him appear even more vulnerable and angelic. Artemis' calm demeanor was thrown by this picture of innocence. It reminded him of all the times he had tried to please his father as a child, only to fall short of his dad's impossibly high expectations. In a surge of emotion, Artemis swept Myles into a big bear hug.

"Nice work Myles! How did you do it?" He asked.

Myles looked positively radiant.

"I told a staff worker if he didn't open the machine, I'd stab him with my screwdriver!" Myles frowned, "I could have opened it myself, but I didn't have the key, or my lock picking kit. But, once I got in, redoing the electrical system was easy!"

Both Artemis and Holly looked horrified.

"Myles! Don't threaten people! That's not very nice!" Artemis scolded.

Myles frowned again, his little brow furrowed in concentration.

"But _you_ threatened people," he pointed out, "You locked Holly in the _cellar_."

Upon hearing this, Holly choked on the big gulp of Pepsi she was drinking. Artemis stared accusingly at her. After regaining her composure, she just grinned weakly and shrugged.

"They wanted me to tell them some stories about you, Arty." She admitted sheepishly.

Artemis turned back to Myles.

"That was one of the worst mistakes I ever made, Myles. I was not the friendliest child-"

At this point, Holly burst out laughing, her whole frame shaking from the guffaws. She pounded her tiny fist on the table, startling Beckett. The unsettled boy climbed off of her lap, looking on curiously.

"-and I wouldn't want you to copy my past behavior." He finished, shooting Holly a frosty glance.

Myles nodded emphatically.

"Okay. I won't threaten any other people with my screwdriver. Did Holly really punch you in the face and tell you to be a good boy?"

"Yes!" Holly chortled, "You should have seen his expression! I still haven't gotten you that lollipop, Arty."

Artemis was about to deliver a scathing and witty retort when someone announced that the first round of laser tag was about to begin.

"That's us, guys," Holly announced, rising from her seat, "If you win, Arty, I'll buy you a churro. Would that be an improvement over the lolly?"

"No, Holly," he pronounced wearily, "I do not wish to eat a piece of deep fried bread covered in cinnamon sugar. I am already bound to get indigestion from that revolting pizza."

"Shut up and come on, mud boy." Holly ordered, teasingly punching him on the arm.

Artemis' hazel and blue eyes opened wide, and he gripped the table tightly with both hands.

"You mean, actually _play the game?_" He spluttered, "B-but I thought I was just going to sit here and wait for you!"

"No way! You paid good money to play this game, and I'm not going to let you just sit here and stare at the wall!"

Artemis didn't move.

"Laser tag is fun, Arty! "

"No. I don't even know how to play. I'm staying here."

A spark of determination flared up in Holly's eyes.

"Okay. You've got three seconds before I physically force you to join us."

Myles and Beckett stared with wide eyes. They had never seen their brother this frightened before.

"One…"

Artemis' face drained of the little color it had.

"Two…"

He gulped, steeling himself for whatever was to come next.

"Three!"

Holly swooped in behind Artemis, grabbing him under both of his arms and heaving him up out of his chair. He hung on to the tabletop for dear life.

"Please! Please, Holly! I'll do anything! Don't make me go!"

Artemis was terrified of the thought of playing a game with a bunch of gun-toting, unsupervised little boys keyed up on sugar, _in the dark_. It didn't matter if they were harmless lasers; he knew it wouldn't end well. To top it off, Butler wouldn't be there to protect him. Physical activity wasn't his strong suit.

He had limited knowledge on laser tag was. This was a first for Artemis Fowl, for he rarely ever said the words, "I don't know". But, how could you blame him? He mostly spent his time researching ways to protect the environment, not childish games he never dreamed of playing. If he had been warned about the excursion to the arena (they had just hopped in the car and asked Myles and Beckett where to drive to), he would have spent hours researching the game. Maybe then he might have considered participating. Laser tag was a foreign concept to Artemis, and therefore he was afraid of it. Not that he would ever admit such a thing.

The chair toppled over as Holly hauled him towards the room where all the players were supposed to meet.

"You…are…going to…play…this…game…if it is…the…last…thing I do!" She grunted, "It'll…be…good for you!"

After Artemis felt the curious stares of the other people in the room, he admitted defeat for the first time in years.

"Fine. I give up, Holly. You win. Please let me up."

As Artemis struggled to his feet, Holly punched him playfully in the arm for the second time that day.

"You'll thank me for this someday." She said happily.

They each took one of the twins' hands and ventured into the dim room. Artemis had a sinking feeling in his stomach. He was sure he was walking to his doom.

_What have I gotten myself into?_

That was his last thought before he stepped through the doorway into the darkness.

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><p><strong>AN: How did you guys like the first chapter? I don't think it was as good as my other story, "Getting Ready", but oh well. What do you guys think? Was Artemis too OOC? Any predictions, comments, questions? I won't update 'till I get 5 reviews! Tee hee! Review review review!**

**I I I **

**V V V **


	2. Janice the Menace

**A/N: Here's the next chapter everybody! Thank you for all your wonderful reviews! I was so happy I actually danced around the room! Until, however, I fell down the stairs. So I'll have to find some other way to celebrate. Dragginninja, you had a good point. Thanks for catching that for me. I'll be sure to clear that up in this chapter. Also, I think I forgot to mention that Arty is seventeen.**

** Disclaimer: I don't own Arty or anything, yada yada yada…**

Holly took Beckett's hand and Artemis took Myles', sticking close together. Holly grinned with excitement, thinking of how much she loved the Mud Man game of laser tag. She had only played it once before as a child, her parents sneaking her up to the surface for a bit of fun.

The laser tag arena was one place where Holly could blend right in. Her chin length auburn hair effectively hid her pointy ears, though no one could really see them in the dark anyway. Nobody thought anything of a little girl coming to the arena. It was perfectly acceptable; laser tag was for anyone. On the other hand, it was a bit tricky when she went with Artemis to see a rated R movie.

The group of four was ushered into a tiny, poorly lit room with giant carpeted steps to sit on. The walls were bare except for a large mural of the solar system in desperate need of repair and a lengthy list of policies and regulations.

A dozen or so little boys about the twins' age were charging. One seemed to be strangling another, while one was singing a T.V. show theme song at the top of his lungs. Another kid stood with his finger up his nose, next to him a child gnawing on his own arm. A boy was licking the carpet, and one kid was cuffing the lot of them repeatedly with a threadbare, slightly crazed-looking sock puppet. The rest of the pint-sized terrors were doing similar activities.

_I must remember to refrain from giving soda to the twins, _Artemis mused amongst the chaos.

There were four other people in the room. A huge man in a leather jacket stood in the corner, not unlike Butler except for his choice of attire. Next to him was a girl grinning at nothing, slowly rocking back and forth on her heels. Two bored looking teenage guys slumped against the wall, muttering about something.

"Whoa," Holly gazed bewilderedly around, "This is like the last funeral I went to."

"A funeral? Hmmm… human funerals are rather morbid events," Artemis remarked as they sat down.

He wrinkled his nose disgustedly at the seats, sitting on the very edge. Holly rolled her eyes.

"Elven funerals are too, but you didn't meet who died. And quit being such a baby. It's a bench, not a heap of trash."

Just then a girl with a green mowhawk, spiked dog collar, and all black clothing slouched in. She had about twenty face piercings and fake fuchsia eyelashes. On her arm was a tattoo of what appeared to be the statue of liberty break dancing alongside a rabid beaver.

"Shaddup, ya little monsters!" she barked, scowling at them all.

Everyone froze, and all heads swiveled in her direction.

"Someone sneezed in your hair," Beckett observed.

Holly swiftly covered his mouth with her hand.

"Quiet, dude!" the girl snapped, "I'm Janice, and I gotta tell you the rules."

"I do believe you are at the wrong place. The prison yard is right down the street." Artemis declared snidely.

Holly clapped her other hand over his mouth as well.

"You feelin' lucky, punk? You wanna go? Huh? Huh?" Janice snarled, getting up into Artemis face.

Artemis sat with his arms crossed, defiant and silent, partially because Butler wasn't there to protect him, and partially because Holly was preventing him from speaking.

"Yeah, that's what I thought," Janice addressed the rest of the players, "So, you've got this gun, and you hold it with both hands 'cuz it's got a heat sensor under it, and you shoot people on the opposite team. If you get shot, yer out for ten seconds," she held up a black vest with a chest plate, shoulder plates, and a back plate. These areas all contained blue flashing lights. A gun with blinking lights was attached by a cord.

"You can get shot here, here, here, here, and here," Janice explained, pointing to all five blue places, "And just don't kill each other and stuff," she waved her hand (with fluorescent orange nails) dismissively at the list of numerous rules.

_How completely uninformative,_ Artemis thought disdainfully.

Janice examined the crowd for a few moments, walking slowly up and down the group with her hands behind her back. She resembled a general surveying his troops.

"You, you, you, you, you, you, and you," she pointed to seven of the rambunctious boys, "You're on the red team."

_We don't get to pick our own teams?_ Artemis' stomach felt heavy with dread.

"Ummm… You, you, you, you, you, you…" Janice had selected Holly, Myles, Beckett, the giant man, the two teenage guys, and her finger was hovering over Artemis' head.

_Please pick me, oh Frond let her put me on their team! _Artemis prayed.

"Aaaaaand… you," with a slight smirk; she had quickly pointed to the socket puppet boy at the last minute, getting her revenge on Artemis for his insult, "You're team green."

Artemis' heart dropped into his shoes, a pair that had just recently got gum stuck to one of the soles. Without Holly on his team, he was dead meat and he knew it.

"All the rest of you are team blue."

Artemis mentally evaluated his teammates. The girl that appeared to be a slightly off her rocker was on his team, and so were the rest of the boys.

_This is hopeless, _He thought, _Completely hopeless. I'll be lucky to make it through in one piece._

"Hi!" the unstable girl bounced over to Artemis, giggling manically, "My name is Kay and I love bikes! Be my friend!"

With that statement, she threw her arms around a disconcerted Artemis, toothy grin stretching from ear to ear. Looking past Kay's head, he could see Holly literally rolling on the floor laughing, right next to the carpet-licking boy who was also on his team.

_I take it back. This unfortunate situation isn't _hopeless._ It is probably fatal._

"M'kay. Let's go."

Janice walked briskly around the corner, leading the group down a narrow catwalk through a tunnel. Neon plastic crystals glowed softly off the path, and glow-in-the-dark star stickers dotted the walls and ceiling.

"And now we're warping into the future, blah blah blah." Janice remarked in a bored tone.

"'Warping into the future'. Ha! This is _nothing_ like the time stream." Holly sniffed, examining a cluster of crystals.

The little boys (minus Myles and Beckett, who were obediently strolling in front of Holly and Artemis) began whooping with glee and mock fear, hopping up and down and jostling the foursome. Kay was texting furiously on her phone, so she hardly took notice.

At the end of the tunnel was an oblong room lit with black lights. Along the walls were racks of vests like the one Janice had presented, only with different colored lights on them. Artemis gingerly plucked one with blue lights off the railing, holding it away from him as if it had a disease.

"The "future" seems to have even worse technology than the present," Artemis remarked, brushing invisible dirt off the frayed material.

Holly grabbed a green vest, expertly strapping it on and tightening the loose places like a pro. After all, she was in the LEP.

"I am going to enjoy this so much," she chuckled, helping the twins with their vests," You are goin' _down_, Mud Boy!"

Artemis made a strangled noise that sounded like something in between a whimper and a groan. With a tortured look on his face, he slipped the heavy thing over his head, hesitantly letting it rest on his ridiculously expensive Armani suit. For a few moments, he fiddled vainly with the buckles, finally surrendering them to Holly.

"For Frond's sake Artemis! You're a genius that can hack into the Pentagon in a matter of seconds, yet you can't buckle a vest. Honestly," Holly complained good-naturedly.

"Thank you Holly," Artemis sighed melodramatically, "But I hardly think it matters whether I die in a secure vest or not."

"You're not going to _die_, Arty," Holly snorted, then faltered, "Well, _probably _not. I mean, it's possible, but the chances aren't _that_ big…"

Holly clammed up once she saw Artemis' face.

"All right! Ready? Well, too bad! Go! Now!" Janice pointed to yet another dark doorway.

Techno music drifted faintly into the room, and Artemis could see multicolored strobe lights sweeping frantically over the floor. Eagerly, Myles and Beckett ran towards the entrance, waving their weapons in the air. Holly unclipped her own gun, holding it expertly with both hands, just like instructed. She saluted Artemis and headed after the twins.

"Bye Arty! See you later!"

As she walked, she shimmered out of sight. Her disappearance went unnoticed, for Janice was struggling to boot all the little boys into the arena.

Artemis' jaw dropped.

_No. She can't shield! That is cheating! How unfair…_

"You. In there. Now! Hurry, up, I haven't got all day! It's gonna start!" Janice pushed Artemis towards the doorway, right into his untimely demise.

_Oh no…_

A disembodied female voice came from over the speakers.

"_Three…two…one… engage._"

**A/N: Next chapter, Artemis will finally get to **_**play**_**! Wahoo! Tell me what y'all think! Was it all right? Hmmm… I'm feeling ambitious today, so…. I won't update until I get ten reviews! What are you waiting for? Let's get those ten! **


	3. I Told You So!

**A/N: …. (Recoils form the computer screen in shock, horror, and disgust) I'm so sooooo soooooorrrrrryyyyy! I'm a terrible perrrrrsssssoooooonnnn! I haven't updated in 5 months! 5 MONTHS! Remorse, remorse! And everyone was so good to me with all of the reviews… Well, I'm going to respond to them regardless of how long they've been there, because some people had really good points.**

**To: mtzBEN**

**Yes, I knew I took a chance with Artemis' meltdown. It was a hit or miss kind of thing, and I guess it was a miss. Sorry.**

**As for Holly shielding: Just keep reading! I know exactly what I'm going to do with that situation. **

**I doubt Artemis could tell where she is in the dark with so many other distractions, but like I said, I'll address that, probably next chapter.**

**Thank you so much for your review!**

**To: Jasmine Wanderer**

**Yes, I'm sorry about the OOC-ness. I'll work on that.**

**As, for the "Can I bring my fairy friends?" thing, N*1 broke that curse (or whatever you want to call it). But, I have to admit, it would have been funny if I had done that. I may go back and add it in!**

**Thanks for the review, I appreciate it!**

**Hugs to everyone who's stuck with this story, even after an entire 5 months of dormancy. I'm so sorry…. (I'm such a hypocrite! "Oh, I'm never going to be one of those authors who won't finish their stories." Tch. Right.)**

**The story begins… NOW!**

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><p><strong>"<strong>_Three… two… one… engage."_

Artemis' thoughts were unusually jumbled. He had little idea of what he should do, for he preferred neatly structured pastimes where the person knew exactly what was to be done, at any given time. Formulas and rules were his best friends, and this game was seriously lacking both of these.

His palms were sweaty, heart beating fast, and mouth dry, as he stood rooted to the spot, completely at a loss.

_Hmmm… it seems as though something primal has overridden all calm and rational thought. Perhaps this is the "fight or flight" instinct? _

The stymied teenager would have liked to have taken a hot bath or meditated, but it was obvious that both of these activities would be impossible.

Instead, Artemis examined his weapon and his gear. The gun was made of cheap black plastic, with blue lights running along either side of it. The vast was a heavy material, maybe canvas?

Artemis could, of course, just cut the wires, effectively disabling the thing. After that was taken care of, he could simply hide in a corner until the session was finished. There was only one flaw to this devious and oh so complicated plan…

_I doubt the laser tag arena would approve of me ruining their equipment. If only I had all my tools… then I would be able to fix it after taking it apart…_

Artemis had only one option: Play the game.

As he stood their deliberating (and refusing to accept the grim truth), a dark shape flew out of the shadows and barreled straight into him.

Artemis staggered off balance, nearly thrown to the ground.

"D'arvit! The rules explicitly state that physical contact is strictly prohibited! I-"

The sock puppet kid stood in front of him, looking very menacing for a boy less than half Artemis' age. He stuck his tongue out and blew a raspberry at the appalled genius.

"Rules are for sissys! Sissy! Sissy! Sockie don't like sissys!"

"Now why would I care what an inanimate piece of clothing-"

Before he knew it, "Sockie" had taken out his dislike for "sissys" on Artemis' nose.

"D'arvit! D'arvit! Why would you _do _that?"

Artemis gingerly fingered his injured nose. Due to his extensive knowledge in the medical field, he was able tell that it wasn't broken, only bruised.

"Nah, nah, nah nah, naaaaaah!"

And with that, Sock Puppet Kid ran cackling over to a tower, undoubtedly looking for his next unfortunate victim.

_I believe I have just been socked by a sock…_

Artemis once again admonished himself for his untimely sense of humor.

Despite his throbbing nose, it seemed the punch had "knocked" some sense into his noggin. Springing into action, Artemis jogged towards a ramp that led into a tower (not the same one Sock Puppet Kid had headed for). Several times he was shot and his suit powered down, but for now he was only trying to stay alive, never mind his score.

_If I can venture a bit higher, perhaps I won't be such a sitting duck._

He careened around corners and slalomed through the numerous obstacles, wishing Butler could see his remarkable performance. After tripping over his own feet for the third time and running head on into a wall, that wish vanished as quickly as it came.

At last, he reached the highest room in the arena. Looking out a window, he surveyed his surroundings. A disco ball hung from the ceiling spun crazily, reflecting multicolored lights that shone upon it. Brightly color splashes of paint on the walls seemed to glow under the black lights. A fog machine had been turned on, and thick clouds of vapor hovered against the ceiling. He thought he glimpsed Beckett scampering across the floor, but it was difficult to tell.

Whoops and screams reverberated in the cavernous arena, sounding even more sinister and unearthly in the darkness. Artemis shivered, despite the fact that his expensive suit was probably ruined from his perspiration.

Finally, his genius brain had an idea (he was a little slow at the time).

_Hmmm… I wonder…_

Artemis leaned out the window, gripping his gun tightly with both hands, and waited. After a few seconds, two people ran out of a building and paused right underneath him. It was that Kay girl on his team and the arm chewing boy.

"Shut up! Shut up! I'm in Tron! I'm in Tron! Be quiet!" Kay squealed at the boy.

Vaguely, he wondered what the girl was shouting about as he took aim. The bright red beam of his laser hit the ground right next to Arm Chewer. He didn't seem to notice. Again and again, Artemis fired, but his efforts were futile. He stretched down even farther, standing on his tip toes to get a better shot.

_If I don't hit him soon, they're going to leave._

Artemis heard footsteps behind him, and hoped whoever was coming was on his team. He had given up on aiming the blaster and was now just shooting rapidly in the general direction.

_I _have _to get this kid soon! The laws of probability state that-_

Wham!

The two teenage guys were behind him, horsing around. One had shoved the other, sending him crashing into Artemis. The guy's momentum caused the prodigy to…

…Fall out the window.

Artemis' last thought was:

_If I ever see Holly again, I'm going to tell her "I told you so."_

Then he prepared for impact.

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><p><strong>AN: Yeah, I know. Short chapter, and not very good to boot. I think Artemis was slightly more OOC on this chapter, but I couldn't have him look like a laser tag pro, now could I? I've also had a terrible case of writers block, and I was kind of floundering in this chapter. If anyone has any ideas/suggestions/requests please feel free to tell me! I know what's going to happen with the whole falling-Arty thing though. Next chapter will center on Holly!**

**Oh, and the sniper thing was for anonymous! Thanks for the idea, anonymous!**


	4. An Unexpected Visitor

_D'arvit! This thing isn't going to last much longer._

Captain Holly Short could feel that her laser tag vest was going to shake to pieces any minute. The Mud Man technology wasn't made for the intense vibrations of her shielding, and would therefore fall apart. She was actually pretty surprised that the suit had held up this long, being a human made garment after all. She guessed that it was the thick, smelly canvas that was keeping it together.

Holly was opposed to making herself invisible in the game, especially because there were little kids playing, but she just wanted to spook Artemis. Maybe grab him from behind and scare him out of his wits a little. She couldn't resist the opportunity. It was a dark room with flashing lights, and Artemis would have a very, very hard time spotting her. It always irritated her when he could tell where she was, invisible or not.

However, she wasn't shooting any of the other players (although it was tempting), because it would bug her if she won due to her unfair advantage. All she wanted was one little glimpse of a terrified Artemis' face, a small thing she could blackmail him with and laugh about with that pesky Foaly, and she'd play by the rules.

_Now, where _is _that coward? He probably went and curled up in a corner to hide._

The thought _did _cross Artemis' mind, unbeknownst to her.

_Maybe he-_

WHOMP!

The boy genius had fallen off the tower right into the arms of an invisible Holly.

"What the-?"

Actually, it was more accurate to say that the bewildered teenager had plummeted right onto her unsuspecting head.

"Holly? Is that you?"

Out of nowhere, Artemis had _tackled _her! Holly was furious.

_And, _Holly thought, _he came from above! Did he jump from a building or something? _Artemis _used such stealthy LEP-worthy moves to outsmart a member of the LEP itself?_

Artemis now was sprawled flat on top of the little elf, successfully pinning her to the ground. Holly was to upset at having her game ruined to even register this.

"How could you see me? Has Butler's training paid off, or something? _Did you steal the LEP training manual?"_ Holly shouted, resembling a very upset fairy interrogator.

Fortunately, the pounding beat of the dance music drowned out their little heart to heart, and it was so dark that no one took notice of Artemis seemingly floating a bit off the ground.

"Oh, I was practicing an old Vietnam guerilla fighter technique. A soldier would hide in a tree that grew along a frequently used enemy trail, and when the unsuspecting target walked underneath…" Aretmis' was lying through his teeth.

Holly had finally realized what a compromising situation she was in, and how if Foaly ever found out she'd die. Face flaming, she used a favored military move called the rocket launcher, and Artemis was thrown into the side of the building.

"Owww!" Artemis rubbed his head, "What was _that _for, Holly?"

"That was for the _assault,_ Mr. Guerilla." Holly was glad for her shielding at that particular moment, for it masked her blushing.

Luckily, Holly was perfectly fine, everything in tip-top shape except for her pride. She shot him in the chest, clocked him in the head with her blaster, and dashed away from the dazed genius. Hurdling the carpet-licking boy, and dodging the Butler doppelganger, she put quite a distance between her and a miffed Artemis.

As she sprinted, Holly powered down her shield.

_Well, there's no point in it now. _She sighed. _I'm such a coward. Running away from Artemis! Maybe I need more training. I must be losing my touch._

She shook her head vigorously to clear away these thoughts, trying to put things back into perspective.

_Well, it's just a game of laser tag, and at least Foaly didn't see it._

Actually, Foaly had hacked into the arena's security camera and was watching the whole thing live. After brightening up the footage (it was realy dark), he'd emailed it to everyone in the LEP and uploaded it to his blog.

_I'll get back at Artemis by kicking his-_

WHAM!

Holly had collided with someone for the second time today. She wondered if maybe she should have brought some night vision goggles, and possibly her Neutrino as well. The captain would have _loved _to zap some of these little boys with it (on the lowest setting, of course. It would only cause them to be a little bit dazed for a few minutes).

"D'arvit! What's _wrong _with me today? And _you! _Watch where you're going!" She growled as if she had any room to talk.

A hunched shape stood motionless, it's back to the elf. Whoever it was had on a long black cloak, an unusual getup for the middle of summer. Holly couldn't remember anyone that was wearing such an outfit. The person seemed to be in distress, for they kept wheezing and making a strange gurgling noise.

"Uh, are you okay? Maybe you should slow down a bit…" Holly, touched the person's shoulder, an uneasy feeling in the pit of her stomach.

As soon as her fingertips brushed the guy, he tensed and growled, low and menacing. Holly snatched her hand back as if it had been burned, while warily regarding the… the thing.

_Somehow I don't think this is a mischievous little boy pretending to be a tiger..._

At that moment, a blinding light flashed over the huddled figure, illuminating him for a split second. That's when Holly saw a long scaly tail, and the barrel of a gun. And this was no ordinary gun, nor was it one of the plastic blasters in the game.

"A softnose laser…" Holly breathed.

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><p><strong>AN: Dun dun dun (that was suspenseful music right there, people)! Uh oh, what is the "thing", and how did it end up in a laser tag arena? I'm sure the last three sentences answered the first question for y'all. Yeah, another short chapter. Sorry. If anyone has any good ideas, I'd appreciate them! I guess this story has evolved into something other than a cutesy comedy! Do you guys like the new development? Yay or nay? Hip, hip, hooray? Which will you say? Remember to review! Oh, and I guess I should respond to the reviews. Here we go:**

**To: TehTrollEmperor**

**You didn't read the whole story. Arty falls off a building. That can hardly be described as "mushy gushy sunshine and rainbow crap". **

**At least tell me why "This is the most stupid thing i have ever read in my life."**

**If the whole series is pointless, then why are you reading fanfiction about it?**

**Detroit's public school system is completely irrelevant to my story.**

**You've probably insulted a lot of people with that comment. **

**Plus, China has nothing to do with this story either.**

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><p><strong>People, if you're going to flame me, at least tell me WHY my story is so terrible. I love constructive criticism, and appreciate people who give it to me, but ranting on about nothing doesn't help anyone. Plus, please refrain from leaving sardonic comments about various government systems and the education practices of random states in a review. I don't remember putting anything about either of these in this story.<strong>

**On a happier note, I'm trying to break sixty reviews for Laser Tag! Please help! **


	5. One Wrong Step and Boom

**A/N: Once again, I'm **_**really **_**sorry about the delay, but I suppose you'd rather just read the new chapter instead of listening to me grovel.**

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><p>Holly Short dropped low to the ground, pointing her gun at the goblin before remembering it was just plastic. The dangerous creature was acting very strange; it didn't turn around even though Holly had slammed into it full force, and she could see that it stood in a puddle of slime. Was that drool?<p>

The captain inched slowly behind a wall, creeping up to a little window so she could get a better view. The goblin was indeed drooling and it's scaly arms twitched every so often. It was also abnormally pale. Most goblins were a deep green or red, but this one was more of a sickly mustard color.

"Oh Frond…"

This was a bad situation, that she knew for certain. That goblin was getting ready to shed its skin. For lizards and other creatures, it would be a perfectly boring event. But it was different for goblins.

When a goblin was getting ready to shed, it would secrete a dark flammable substance into its saliva (not unlike gasoline). Then, the lizard would coat itself in the aforementioned saliva. The next time it tried to make a fireball, the goblin would combust and be enveloped in its own fiery inferno for several minutes until all its old skin had been baked into a crisp. From there all it would take was some vigorous scratching.

The goblin wouldn't be hurt, but anything around it would burn to a crisp. Holly remembered one time when a goblin had shed its skin while sitting on the hood of a car. By the time they arrived, the goblin was wiping car goo off its feet and tail.

As Holly looked closer, she could tell that the goblin was an adolescent. Probably getting ready for its first shedding. She suspected that it had gotten confused (as shedding takes a bigger mental toll on the young'uns), wandered about, and somehow ended up in a laser tag arena.

But it still didn't explain the softnose laser. That was a felony. She had every right to arrest this goblin, and she intended to do so before the creature exploded and potentially hurt innocent children.

She was just about to run out and holler at the criminal when a little boy ran out of the shadows. It was the one that had been singing the T.V. show theme song. He dashed in front of the goblin, but not before stepping right into the puddle of slime. The boy slowed down only for a moment to give his shoe a disgusted glance, and then disappeared.

Holly sucked in a breath.

The goblin twitched violently. Slowly, it turned its head and sniffed deeply into the foggy air. Strings of saliva dripped from its lips and in the darkness, it looked dark enough to be blood. A slimy tongue flicked out, spraying the ground in front of it with goo, and swiped across its powerful jaws.

Please no, Holly pleaded.

The monster moved one foot. Then the other. In a flash, it was after the defenseless kid.

Holly stood frozen. She turned around back to where she'd run from Artemis.

"Artemis!" she called, retracing her steps, "I-I'm not kidding this time!"

Holly didn't think Artemis would have moved very far. She was right. The boy genius was just standing around looking a bit lost. He had pressed his handkerchief over his mouth to avoid breathing in the fog.

"Artemis!"

His head whipped around and he flinched, probably thinking that Holly was bout to hit him again.

If that was the case, Mud Boy, she thought, You would never have seen it coming.

She dropped her voice to a whisper, "There is a goblin loose in the arena, it's about to start shedding, and it's an adolescent."

Artemis' eyes widened a fraction. He knew quite well the consequences of a shedding teenage goblin, having done extensive research on such occurrences.

"It's following a small boy," she grabbed his wrist urgently and tried unsuccessfully to keep the emotion out of her voice, "It's following a boy. We need one of your famous plans, Artemis. Please."

Artemis' fingers touched the small of Holly's back as if he was about to comfort the elf, but he withdrew them quickly. The sensation lingered on Holly's spine.

"I don't have any of my equipment. I'm off duty." The captain's voice was hoarse.

Artemis cast his eyes downward and appeared to be deep in thought. His first instinct was to find Myles and Beckett, but that could cost them precious time. He would have to trust in the boys' judgment (They had surely stuck together, right?) to avoid the goblin.

At the very least, they needed to _find_ the goblin.

"Get on my back."

"What?" Holly looked up from her nervous pacing.

"Get on my back. Tell me where the brute went, and we'll look for them. If you get higher up, you will be able to look over the short walls."

Holly didn't hesitate.

"Piggyback ride!" she shouted with just a touch of grim determination.

The nimble elf clambered onto Artemis' back with no difficulty. Artemis, however, was not prepared for Holly to veritably _launch _herself at him.

"Ow!" He staggered under her weight, "What do you eat, bricks? Exactly how much to you weigh?"

Holly pinched his ear.

Gingerly, Artemis slid his arms underneath the captain's legs. He couldn't help but notice how warm she was. And how tightly she pressed herself against him.

"Giddyap, Arty boy, he went that way."

Holly dug her heels into Artemis' sides like he was a horse.

And with that, the odd pair strode off into the darkness.

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><p><strong>I know I don't deserve it, but I'd really appreciate some suggestions for Artemis' master plan. I'm not entirely sure where this is going.<strong>

**Be sure to review, even if it's only to yell at me for abandoning this story for so long! **


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